And we danced…

“And we cried, and we laughed, and had a really really really good time.”

The other night* was nothing short of incredible. As I stood, sardined in a crowd of comforting strangers, I began to witness the hype beginning to boil amidst common conversation.

As screams reached new octaves and broke various sound barriers, there he was.

The vibe became electric and anything that had occupied my thoughts that day was wiped. All that mattered, all that was relevant, was that moment. I was captivated, entranced by this art.

There were times when he looked just as much in awe of us as we were of him.

Arms were raised, flowing, rising and falling in sync with the music.

I was alive, liberated, but most of all content.

I praise artists these days who can evoke such emotions, give such genuine performances whilst sounding exactly how they do on their record. This is the essence of live music. Not a hefty display pyrotechnics or acrobatics accompanied by 100 or so dancers that can do a cool spin on their heads. Of course all these aspects add to the scene but the balance is key. Of course the confetti falling from the sky during the closing number was magical. I reached up to welcome it with loving arms, scrunching  the small piece of paper it in my palm in hopes of preserving the memory deep in my mind.

His vast array of issues addressed in his songs make for a versatile concert. From pressing and political issues such as black rights, gay rights, consumerism, celebrity status and personal struggles to a song detailing his love for food and dancing, pretty well rounded wouldn’t you say?

As an avid writer, words are powerful.

So I thank you Macklemore. Thank you for being such an inspiring, creative, genuine human being, that made one young girl very happy indeed.


*Here I am referring to a time over about a year ago now. These were my thoughts I jotted down immediately after the night. Only now have I found the will to string them coherently together.

What I possess has power.

What I possess has power.

You’re greedy, selfish, heartless and cruel.

You are a murderer. My murderer.

Air engulfs my lungs and blood pumps through my veins, I have family to walk alongside and the need for food to keep me satisfied. I qualify, as do you, as a being with a right to tread this earth.

The thing is, you’ve already paved the way for my family’s’ demise. Immediate gratification and immense reward has bred a lineage of danger among your kind.

As our numbers dwindle yours increase. Soon, us, large, beautiful, solitary creatures will be eradicated under your name. And then? Another victim will be at the hands of your mercy until they too have perished.

Then life on this planet will be a reflection of how you’ve always treated it; a man’s world.

But looking into the eyes of my killer this connection is lost. They don’t acknowledge me as a fellow being with the same right to life. They don’t see what’s at stake if we are wiped from the face of the earth, their thoughts are clouded. Clouded by hopes and dreams.

Hope for comfort.

Hope for happiness.

Hope for a better life.

Hope for more than enough food to fill their hollow, shrivelled bellies.

Yes, you will kill me, but not out of spite, but because what I possess has power. The power to transform your life from impoverished to that of luxury.

So, take my horn along with my life, I hope you can justify the sacrifice was right.

Bright, Beautiful Bali ❤️

To say I was looking forward to fresh air, less rubbish, a beach, blue skies and sun that actually gives you a bronze glow, would be the understatement of the century. With my flight being delayed by 5hours in India, I was anxious I wouldn’t be able to make my connecting flight in Singapore. With a bit of fast paced walking and determination I made my flight on time and I was on my way to beautiful Bali! It seemed as if the universe was against me ever making it to the beach as once I arrived in the airport I had to wait a further 4 hours for my pick up to get me to my hostel as the president was in town so the roads were chocka with traffic!

My late night drive through the streets of southern Bali made me think of Thailand. Same road layouts, very narrow, scooters everywhere with medium honking and footpaths seeming non existent. As I looked out my window I saw steak and pork houses everywhere. I was glad I wasn’t staying in this part of the island haha. We cut through a few car parks where an old man would be waiting at the end to collect the toll, which I found amusing, good on him for sourcing money from people cheating the roads! A quick nap made the ride extremely short and I arrived at my hostel in the beautiful beachside town of Canggu at about 11pm. So it was a bit of relaxing, watching a film in the common room before heading to bed. 

Canggu has such a surfer, laid back, beachy vibe to it, exactly what I was looking for! So many Australian tourists, I could’ve convinced myself I wasn’t in Bali at all. I started the day off with a very long walk in the humid heat as I took a wrong turn and ended up finding the beach an hour later (should’ve been a short 20min walk to the beach). I ticked off one of my ‘must-go-to’ cafes as I grabbed a smoothie bowl from ‘Nalu bowls’ and ate it on the beach. It was so delish! So good to have fresh fruit and granola! Once I’d found a sun lounger and an umbrella for a small $2 I pulled out my book, began to soak in the sun and the hours flitted by.

My hostel pool:

Resident hostel dog:

I met two lovely ladies who were staying at my hostel (2 Aussies from Brisbane) and managed to drag them along to another one of my must-eats! It was called the Shady Shack and I devoured one of the nicest burgers of my life. It’s amazing to just walk around and see ‘vegan’ advertised everywhere! And open a menu and literally take an hour to decide because you can eat everything on the menu! 


The next few days in Canggu consisted of sun bathing, great food, cards, ice cream, locals fishing in drains (heavy rain we had one afternoon must’ve brought some fish in from the sea?), reading and swimming!

A cute side street: 

More delish food purchases:

The two girls I befriended at the hostel happened to be going to Ubud the same day as me which was perfect for splitting the taxi fare! Ubud looked so lush, green and tropical as we drove through rice fields and jungles. The hostel I was staying at was so cute, it was run by a Balinese family, called Joker Hostel. It was right in the middle of town which was ideal for exploring. There was a cinema up the road, Paradiso Cinema, and boasted to be the first organic, vegan cinema. I wandered up for an evening screening of Monsters Inc. it was so cute! Once you purchase your ticket, for a cheap $5, you can then use the ticket to put towards $5 worth of food from the vegan cafe in the theatre! It was a perfect evening reclining in a cinema surrounded by lovely food. 

Joker hostel hangout area:

The next morning I, along with the same two girls from my previous hostel, woke up at a rather early hour of 1:30am. I was off to do a climb up the active volcano of Mt Batur. It started off a pretty gradual climb along the sand and rocks but then took a nasty turn about halfway. I looked up and could see little lights dotted up this vertical slope and knew that was signaling what was to come. Eventually I arrived at the top, drenched in sweat and shaky legged, at about 5:30. The sun began to emerge from behind another near volcano (Mt Agung) at around 6 and it was magical. It was amazing being up so high, above the clouds (1700m to be exact). I got quite a few photos as the sun began to rise you never know when the best lighting will be. 
There were so many cheeky monkeys hovering around the top of the mountain, praying on peoples breakfast’s. they would climb all over you while you’re siting there, having a snack enjoying the sunrise. One walked over my lap when another came and attacked it, so happy I caught the whole thing on film as the monkeys face was pretty priceless, although at the time the whole situation was rather terrifying. 

What a view!:

When Monkeys attack (I reccomend watching multiple times to see the expression on his face): 

Later in the afternoon, after a brief power nap, we hired a driver to take us to some locations we fancied viewing around the area. We ended up with this lovely, funny, charismatic Balinese man, after bartering on the street for a good 15minetes to settle on a decent price of $40 for the afternoon. First stop was Nung Nung waterfall, about an hour away. It was less touristy then other waterfalls in the area and I think the rain may have also contributed to its less popular status. The rain seems to be like clockwork here, every afternoon it decides to rain, every day. It was another long walk down many stairs to reach the bottom of the valley and see it in all it’s glory. After passing one smaller one, which I thought was it, we turned the corner and there it was! So much water cascading over this cliff it was insane, so much pressure belting down on the river below. 

We stopped at a quiet place where there was a lake and a wee temple in the middle, this was a bonus stop for us that the driver threw in. 

The elephant cave ( Goa Gajah) was another impressive sight. The name is pretty self explanatory but was built for meditation purposes and worship. Here I also encountered the resident holy man and was blessed by him. Holy water was thrown as he mumbled some words and rice was placed on foreheads. He was everything I thought a holy man would be, old and small with a slight hint of craziness about him. 

Pura Tirta Empul was last on the list. It was a place where you could go and bathe in the holy water that steamed from the many fountains into a pool. The complex also had various temples and places of worship as well so many fish! I’d noticed that a lot of their trees have a tartan cloth wrapped around. Apparently it’s believed trees have great spirit so the cloth helps to protect/contain the spirit within the tree. 

This was such a long day. Starting from 1:30am, it was definitely the most jam packed day so far! 

The next few days in my new found home of Ubud were filled with monkeys, fire dancing, ALOT of gelato, groovy cafes, early morning rises to wander the neon green rice feilds, renting bikes and getting saturated and browsing through the mayhem of the markets. When it came time to leave I really could have stayed longer in this culture rich, jungle, vegan paradise 💕💕💕 

The classic Campuan ridge walk:

Glorious rice fields:

A really awesome floating cafe nestled amoungst the fields:

Ice cream!:

Another cafe I found on a walk through the fields:

The cafe overlooks the fields, with locals farming the rice.

What it’s like to work in an Orphanage

What it’s like to work in an Orphanage

I dressed myself in my newly brought traditional Curti and placed a scarf over my hair (the horrors of my dad tugging a nit comb through my hair from my childhood definitely made me want to prevent getting lice at all costs!) It was day one of working in the orphanage. A place I would come to know well during the next month. I had heard many stories of what it was like, how intense it is, how emotionally draining it gets, how much Poop you deal with on a daily basis. So during the 30minete rickshaw ride I felt rather prepared for what I was about to face. 

The two story complex stood tall, placed on a back road away from the Main Street. The windows seemed to have mesh covering them, coupled with a few bars which made it impossible to see in. The painted walls of the fence displayed happy faces and many bright colours. Similar decorated stairs carried me to the second floor where the kids were. Smiles and stares filled my vision as little hands pulled at my clothes  while cocked necks and eyes beamed up at me. About 40 kids, aged 1-6 all sat in this corridor. It was shower time. I was taken back as I watched how forcefully the women held the kids down to wash and rinse them with a bucket and a bar of soap, right there in the corridor. We all got to work, each with a task. Someone on placing diapers on the younger ones, someone undressing, someone drying and someone dressing (Every morning we bring diapers to the orphanage as they cannot fund it themselves). Even with the younger ones wearing diapers it still turns into a poop war zone, with little deposits placed everywhere.

As I dressed them in whatever clothes seemed to fit them it struck me. Nothing is their own. They don’t have that personal entitlement of ownership. They all share clothes, staff members attention as well as volunteers, no toys are in the orphanage, they literally don’t have anything that is individually theirs. I’ve noticed that with even the smallest of things, a button or a packet of tissues they are extremely protective, for this reason. 

I think at first for a while I just shut my emotions off in order to deal with them. Because when I truely addressed them I couldn’t bare it. It was too overwhelming. These kids don’t have any parents. I mean how do you comprehend what that would be like? No base? No one to tuck you in at night and tell you they love you as they plant a kiss on your forehead? They wake up have a wash, eat (usually something not very nutritious like a lolly or a few biscuits) go into a room where there is a TV and watch it for hours before taking a nap and repeating the cycle. They only go outside of the orphanage twice a year, On a picnic which the volunteering organisation plans. 

Some of the kids backgrounds are just insane. One of the boys witnessed his mother being murdered by his father, another’s mother is scarred with acid burns from a similar attack, others were simply dumped on the street or parents too unstable to take care of them.

Some of the children go to school, About 10. They are sponsored by mostly past volunteers to be able to afford to go to school. 

The kids call us ‘deedee’, meaning sister. I definitely am not going to miss hearing that word day in and out in about 40 voices all at the same time. 

The language barrier wasn’t a huge issue at the beginning as To keep them entertained all you had to do was piggy back them around the room, dance with them, poke funny faces at them, throw them around and show them a few hand games or so. Once I’d actually formed a connection with one (4 year old) girl in particular I wanted to be able to talk to her which was frustrating. It was amazing how we could form such a loving, emotional, goofy friendship with no words, just a heck of a lot of laughter. Everyday when I’d walk in, her beaming smile would come running into my lap coupled with a griping hug. As the days went on it was getting harder to cope with the fact that this would soon be gone. I would be ripped away from her, leaving her with that familiar feeling of abandonment. I’ve spent countless hours questioning if working in an orphanage for such a small amount of time (in the grand scheme of their lives) growing so close to the kids and then leaving is actually better or worse for them? In conclusion I find solace in the phrase, “it’s better to have loved and lost then to not love at all”. I mean if anything I’ve shown her what it means to give and receive love, what it means to be happy and given her some light in her world even if it was only for a brief amount of time.

The day came for me to leave. I managed, with some help, to translate to the women that I was leaving, this would be the last time me and my beautiful friend would see one another. We stood in that same corridor I’d first step foot in 4 weeks ago. The moment the Indian lady finished her sentence i saw the sadness in her little wee eyes, her bottom lip dropped and tears began welling in her eyes as well as mine. I held her so tightly for about 10 minetes before one of the ladies came to take her away. I had to peel her off me which made it 10 times harder to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks. The pain was so aweful, I’ve never experienced something so emotionally powerful that my whole being was completely sucked into it. I was such a mess. I felt guilt, betrayal and utter sadness as I watched her scream and kick as she faded down the corridor. 

Before I mentioned all I’d given her by being at the orphanage. I failed to mention all she’s given me! So thank you my sweet girl, thank you for making ME smile everyday with your cheeky smile, genuine little laugh, the way you would insist I stand up and cart you round the room, throwing you from side to side, playing with my necklace and bracelet’s 24/7, undoing and re-doing a few million times and for teaching me that happiness is so simple. 


*for privacy I’ve left out photos and names.

My house(stel) in Udaipur…

My house(stel) in Udaipur…

This weekend I, along with two other girls, decided to venture to the beautiful city of Udaipur. It is known as the Venice of India and it’s easy to see why. The city surrounds a beautiful lake, with cobbled stone alleys lined with various clothing dangling from the walls. Scooters trail hot on your heels as you try to move out of the way of an on coming car that clearly cannot squeeze down this tight street. It felt like I was more in a European city in Italy or Rome rather than polluted, cow infested, dirt paved, India. 

Sipping coconuts by the lake:

The hostel we were staying at was so unique (Bunk yard hostel highly reccomend, only $7 a night!)There was a music genre allocated to every room. We stayed in the jazz room, so saxophones, old fashioned speakers and portraits of famous jazz artists decorated the room. There was a nice chill, backpacker feel to the place which was a nice change. The hostel was right in the thick of it all. Only minetes away from the cities most popular tourists attractions like the temple, city palace and many gats (small areas where you can sit by the lake). 

The beautiful stairwell inside the hostel:

After coming from working at the orphanage on Friday straight to Udaipur (a 7hr long car journey) we were pretty knackered so opted for sleep as oppose to mixing in with the clear socialising happening just outside our door. The next day it was up at a decent time, as we really only had one full day to spend here as we had to be back by Sunday evening. We visited the temple just down the road, wandered through stall after stall of the same things, visited the city palace (the grounds were beautiful but the palace itself was nothing too impressive just the same old story, looking around a royal families residence. It was also an extra few dollars to be allowed to take photos so don’t expect to see any!) Udaipur also seemed to be the most savvy when it comes to health foods and vegan places, of course I sniffed them out in a second, so that was another plus to the city!

Vegan pancakes in India whaaaat?:

The evening was the best part of the day. We booked a cruise around the lake for sunset. There is a fancy hotel acting as the centre piece of the lake and you can see the whole of the city from the lake as well as nice views of the palace (suck on that extra few dollars for pictures! Turns out their on my camera though woops) not to mention the sunset was magical from the boat. We were ocompanied by a local who was searching for his drone that had crashed somewhere in the lake, poor thing was searching for a while but don’t think he found it.

Oh hi there attractive low angle selfie:

During the following week after volunteering one of the other volunteers (also vegan) and I started working through the few vegan places Jaipur has to offer (which is 2 decent ones, Anokhi cafe and Tapri tea bar) which was delish! So nice to have some fresh veggies and raw deserts! Had missed it so much! Falafel pita pocket and a banana cheesecake sure put a smile on my dile. 

I mean:

My volunteering days in India are coming to a close and I am dreading the day I have to leave! I know it will break one girl in particular’s little heart. Super excited for some fresh air, sand and a beach though! Bali here I come!!!

Roaming Around Jaipur 

Roaming Around Jaipur 

Considering I had been in Jaipur for more than 3 weeks, it was about time I did some actual sight seeing in this horn honking, cow walking bussle of a city. One of the girls and I decided to take a trip to a few of the forts in town. Nahargarh fort, Amer fort and Jal mahal. Jal Mahal was our first stop as it was on the way and a quick hop out take your pics and get back in. It’s essentially a palace in the middle of a lake which looks so majestic, the flocks of birds that fly around it also add to this effect. 

JAL Mahal (queue bird(s) in the background):

A windy ride up the side of a mountain brought us to Amer  fort. Rickshaws lined the roads, waiting to cart tourists to their next destination. The fort sat beautifully perched on the side of the hill. It’s brick structure showcasing mans dominace over the mountain. It’s a bit of a walk to get to the main entrance of the fort, a cobbled stone path carries you up to its gates. Women selling jewellery, men selling shoes and children selling Bracelets greet you along the way. The way in which we looked around and studied the fort lacked any historical merit. This could be due to the fact we refused to pay for a guide or that it turns out Amer fort is excellent grounds for hide and seek! It was like a maze, so many areas to explore, so many dead ends, it was great! It was excellent for escaping eager selfie getters. On one occasion when we were approached for yet another photo, we turned the tables and cheekily asked for 100rupees ($2) if they wanted a precious photo. The man wipped out his wallet and present the bill. I couldn’t believe it, even got it all on camera. That had us laughing for a while! On the way back down I got myself some braclets from the kids. They started with a price of 800rupee ($16) for three. Clearly they thought I was an ignorant tourist. After walking nearly all the way back down with them at my side they eventually agreed on 200rupee ($4). Yes. Rose: 1 Cheeky kids:0. This may have given me more confidence to haggle with a man a few more steps down for a wooden, hand crafted ornament. He started at $20 and after about 15minetes I got him down to $4. Nearing the last 5 minetes I didn’t even really want it anymore but he was trying so hard and it was such a fun game. 

Amer fort, about halfway there:

Story of my life:

Beautiful view inside the fort (the gardens weren’t so bad either ;):

A cool lit room inside the fort:

After a short ice tea rest at ‘The Stag’ it was time to board another rickshaw and make our way up another windy road for a sunset view at Nahargarh fort. This fort was significantly smaller and not an intimidating brick structure. The views from the rooftop were incredible! Looking down on Jaipur was unreal. So much happening, so many houses in such a small area. Kites soared high in the sky, manned by kids nestled in between the dense housing. It was so quiet up there, no rickshaws honking, no people shouting or dogs barking, so peaceful.(That was until the signal for the monks to begin their prayer sounded from the city below. It sounded like a loud moan of dogs drowning, it seemed like it went on forever).

I mean, wow:

I also visited the Monkey temple (which turned out to be a different ‘monkey temple’ to the one some of the girls had already been to, but I guess when you tell the tuk tuk driver to take you to ‘the monkey temple’ there are probably many temples that have monkeys). There were quite a few monkeys, all waiting and climbing the walls leading up to the temple. Some cradling babies, others bearing teeth at one another while some opened packets of nuts to feast on. 

On the way to another attraction, Hawa Mahal, I drove my first Tuk Tuk, conquering the hectic roads of India! With the girls squealing in the back I didn’t have much support as I squeezed the accelerator and hesitantly moved the steering wheel. (It was short lived and rest assured everyone left the vehicle without a scratch). Hawa Mahal was another place that was a quick stop. The palace was right on the edge of a busy road. It’s pink windows looking down on the passers by. The palace was built in such a way so that the women could watch the festivals and what not from their rooms while no one could see in. 

Hawa Mahal: 

City palace is also another one of Jaipurs top attractions, and don’t I know it! It seemed as if every western tourist in Jaipur was at city palace. I never see any westerners in Jaipur here is where they must have been hiding. The palace was nice, not overly impressive perhaps my experience of it was also dulled by the fact I brought a ring that was on the higher price end but turned out to be fake silver. 

With the news of the earthquake in NZ, the following night I experienced one for myself. It was about 4:30am when I woke to my head shaking and thought it had been a dream and dismissed it as such. The next morning from speaking amoungst ourselves and the news headlines, there was an earthquake in Delhi (about 5hrs from Jaipur) not huge, no major damage. It sounds like back at home it will take months to repair the damage. 

Taj and Tigers

Eager to cross off one of the seven wonders of the world, I packed my bags for the weekend and hit the road. Agra was a 5hr drive away so it was headphones in. Soon Ed Sheehan, Arctic Monkeys and Broods were providing a narrative to the still surprising and ever-changing landscape of India. After a dangerous free for all buffet, houses on the side of the road constructed out of 100% cow manure, 10485478 staring eyes and the completion of yet another book, we made it to a beautiful hotel. I’m talking roof top restaurant, a television with english channels, complementary buffet breakfast, strong wifi in ALL areas, hot water, it was bliss. That afternoon we checked out Agra fort. About 70% of it was closed for preservation and also because it is still used by the government. Regardless, it was a beautiful fort. Walls tinged with red skirted the cute gardens with the most greenery I’d seen in a while. Such detailed inscriptions and carvings lit up the marbled walls. On a clear day you can see the Taj Mahal but the haze was so thick you barely got a good view looking down on the town of Agra, I don’t think the festivities of Diwali had helped with the already present haze.

Selfie at Agra fort:

  The Taj! Hoping to get a clear/non-fog-ruining photo of the infamous palace we opted to go later on in the morning. The Taj was basically our neighbour, a quick 5 minute walk down the street and there it was, well after going through about 3 gates and a security check complete with even a bag scanner! Now, I have obviously seen countless photos of the Taj Mahal, but standing there is another story. Despite the hefty amount of other tourists crowding the area, all wanting the best photo, the Taj Mahal was incredible. The entire structure is made of marble! I mean, Imagine how time consuming and hard it would be to chisel all the artwork. It took a total of 11 years to construct with even a few fatalities, due to the lack of protection from the gasses and toxins within the marble. The enormity of it was insane! 73 metres of pure marble. The classic bench where princess Diana sat was constantly swarmed by people eager to get the same picture. We managed to get a few good ones in areas that were slightly off the most popular areas. The palace was built by Shah Jahan for his late wife as a symbol of his love. He was a great believer in everything being symmetrical. The palace is exactly symmetrical, even down to two Mosks placed exactly on either side. He was even planning on building a replica of the Taj just across the river, in order to satisfy this symmetrical system. Wandering around its grounds I was in awe. So much detail, so much thought had gone into this masterpiece. It was sad to see that some tourists had taken advantage of being so close to the artwork and had stolen some of the jewels that were set in the marble. As a result we were told a few areas of the Taj will soon be closed to the public.

Detailed marble work:


Once back in Jaipur a few of us settled down to watch Slumdog Millionaire. Now more than ever this movie was so relatable, such a great film. I’ve checked out one of the malls here in Jaipur and It was so great to be in such a western building, with western shops and fixed prices! it’s funny the things you miss. Earlier this week the Prime Minister gave us a lovely surprise overnight by declaring 500 rupee notes and 1000 notes a no longer legal tender. Perfect. Here I was thinking I was so prepared by exchanging all my money in NZ, before I came. Now here I was with about 20,000 rupees, all in 1000 notes that were invaluable. It is such an ordeal trying to exchange your old money for new. The queues last for days with hundreds gathered outside every bank in town. I understand why the government has done this and why so suddenly ( to deal with the amount of counter fitting that goes on ) but I feel like the way India’s systems are set up and the current situation of it’s people, was not fit or prepared to handle this. On attempting to get money we were faced with guards with guns outside the bank but were escorted to the front of the queue like honoured guests, only to be informed we could only exchange 1000 rupees ($20) as they were low on money. On the same day this was announced Trump also won the presidency so it’s safe to say it was a grim day world wide.

After getting my first Henna design it was time for another adventure! This weekend it was off to a tiger safari. Ranthambore was just a mere 5hrs away. The place we stayed at was more of a resort. The grounds were gorgeous, lots of places to spread out on the grass and read (I tested it), another buffet for breakfast, lunch and dinner and even a performance huddled round a fire with hot chai. We checked out the fort for the afternoon and captured the sunset with some photo shoot ready pics. We set out at 7am in our jeep and made our way to the game reserve. As tigers are nocturnal we were hoping to catch a glimpse before they settled in for a sleep. Climbing up the hills in a jeep on a rocky, unpaved road was extremely bumpy. We saw some Antelope, peacocks, deer and birds. unfortunately it was a tiger-less tiger safari for us but the views and selfies we got were pretty great. It was frustrating to hear from a couple staying at the same place as us who entered the park at a different gate saw Tigers, Leopards and crocodiles! Thats just the luck of the draw though, have to be in the right place at the right time. 

What I wish I saw (from the couples camera):

This was terrifying but the view was so breathtaking: 

Sad news from home about the earthquake! Thoughts with everyone xxx